Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
