Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
