you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
