I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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