The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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