I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
