wanna go halves on a baby?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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