Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
