420 ftw
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
