I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He's on the porch naked. Help.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize