Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
