As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
