I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
