wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
