That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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