im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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