To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize