I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
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