You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
