Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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