So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
