May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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