mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
