Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
wow bdsm is so cute
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
