I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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