That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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