youre lurking in front of me
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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