This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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