So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
