he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
