Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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