NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
