Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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