It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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