absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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