you're like a bully in the Christmas story
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
