It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
