I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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