so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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