jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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