how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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