Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
