Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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