at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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