i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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