grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
