I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
