new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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