Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
