Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So vagazzling was a success
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
