can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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