True but thats because hes a fetus.
Where is the hickey?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
