I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
