The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
