She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
