Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
